'I'm fuming': Mother-in-law secretly invites 38 extra wedding guests by sharing RSVP link, couple finds out 2 weeks before big day and prepare to block uninvited guests at the door

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
Apr 2, 2025 6:00 AM EDT

I can't imagine coming up with a wedding guest list. You don't want to leave anyone out, but you also don't want to pay $50K+ just to make sure your second cousin once removed—who you've only met once in your life—gets a seat. There's a fine line. Plus, your parents usually want to invite people too. And since they're often footing part of the bill (if you're lucky), they're entitled to make a few guest requests. But once you start factoring in extended family, coworkers, family friends, and random plus-ones, things can spiral pretty fast. And then you have to think about the seating chart and how to possibly pair this random hodgepodge of people into tables that make sense. I went to a wedding recently where I was seated with my estranged relatives who have a thing for canceling last minute. There ended up only being two people at my entire table, including myself, even though the poor bride and groom had already paid for their plates. But that's still better than having 38 uninvited guests show up, which is exactly what happened to this couple after the groom's mom shared their private RSVP link, even after the couple told her not to. 

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  • TOGETH Ann LIES n INVITE YOU TO JOIN THEM TO CELEBRA EIR Wedding T6PM
    via Jen Vazquez For Unsplash+

  • "AIO to my MIL and SIL sharing our wedding website link and password, inviting people behind our backs?"

    I am actually fuming right now. We're around six weeks out of our wedding and my MIL and SIL have been pushing us to add 38 more guests to the list. There are people we don't even know, from MIL's church, SIL's friends
    via ParisInnTheRain
  • whatever. We told them no because my FIL who is covering his guest costs, said NO for paying for extra 38 guests and MIL, SIL are expecting us to bear the burden for these extra people. We finalised our list last year and the invites went out in
    via ParisInnTheRain
  • February. All the RSVPs are due in two weeks. But this morning I'm waking up to a text from one of MIL's church friends (someone who was never on our guest list) sending me a thank you message for inviting her. I mean what invitation?! We didn't invite them.
    via ParisInnTheRain
  • We've total 220 people on our guest list (110 our guests, 48 my father's and 60 my FIL's. Both the fathers are covering up everything for their side of the lot). We included the site link and password on the RSVP card,
    via ParisInnTheRain
  • assuming it would only be used by the people we actually invited. Well, now we realize that MIL and SIL took that info to log in and shared the link and password with people we explicitly told them to not invite. We don't even know how many
    via ParisInnTheRain
  • people they sent this to and now we have to go in and manually check every RSVP to make sure we're not suddenly hosting half of MIL's church congregation. The absolute audacity here is triggering the f out of me. They knew we said no. They
    via ParisInnTheRain
  • knew FIL wasn't covering it. And both mother daughter still went behind our backs to make it happen anyway. I have no idea how to even deal with this right now but I swear I'm thinking if any uninvited guest shows up, MIL will be the one explaining to them at the door why they're not getting in.
    via ParisInnTheRain
  • Ceremony
    via Scott Webb For Unsplash+

  • Fear not, bride and groom, because the comment section has a plethora of ideas on how to get out of footing the bill for 38 uninvited strangers. Keep scrolling. 

  • Quirky Difference800 Have security stand at the door with an invitation only guest list. Send anyone not on your list away. Let MIL and SIL know your doing this so they can. either uninvite their friends or be embarrassed day of when they get turned away.
    via Quirky Difference800
  • gastropod43 NOR It will be cheaper to hire a gard at the door to limit access.
    via gastropod43
  • Lexubex If the website has recorded the emails of everyone who RSVPed, I would send out an email to everyone something like this:
    via Lexubex
  • "It has come to my attention that a number of people were invited by people other than my fiancee and I, without our prior agreement. We mailed out paper invitations in February. Only
    via Lexubex
  • people who received paper invitations were invited by us. If your invitation came in the form of someone telling you that you were invited but you didn't receive a paper copy, please do not attend. We apologize for the confusion caused by this miscommunication."
    via Lexubex
  • MidwestMSW Let Them know there guests will be humiliated by security. They will be shamed and tossed. Gifts still accepted. Or just disinvite MIL and SIL.
    via MidwestMSW
  • Such Space6381 I would not accept an invitation to a wedding that didn't come from the bride and groom.
    via Such_Space6381
  • Florarochafragoso And thats why in my country all wedding invitations come with a small personal tag to be presented upon entrance. No tag no entrance.
    via Florarochafragoso
  • fromhelley I'm ready to send mil and sil to an air bnb 250 miles away the day of the wedding! NOR
    via fromhelley
  • Sloth_grl Just tell them that no one that you and your fiancé didn't invite personally will be allowed in and there will be a guard at the door, checking invitations
    via Sloth_grl

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rsvp bride groom drama mother Wedding Invitation uninvited wedding guests family feud parenting petty sister in law wedding couples mother in law entitled people
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